UÇUŞ KORKUSU

Hello everyone, dear friends. In the past weeks, we have touched on the subject of cheating and being cheated on in my column about relationship problems, and we received very positive reactions. Today, I will be shedding light on the causes of deception and deception and presenting deep examinations to you. Thank you again for your messages, likes, constructive comments, advice and interest you sent on youtube, whatsapp, instagram and twitter.

Upon the intense request from you, I felt the need to write in detail about "The causes and solutions of cheating and cheating in relationships" today.

First of all, I should point out that; There is no man or woman to cheat and be deceived, after all, it is a hurtful and humiliating act. It is not correct to say that only men or only women cheat. Statistical data determine the rates, but it would be wrong and unfair to generalize based on gender.

In addition, we live in such a period that there are also "permissive or mutual deceptions" such as swingers, which are carried out with the consent of the spouse. Can everyone live as they want in their own space of freedom? It's debatable, so we're not going to get into that for now.

Let's continue our article with two important questions and examine the subject in more detail:

Does a man who cheats on his wife have any respect for his wife?

Can there be valid reasons for cheating?

Is your answer yes or no to each of these questions?

Let's move on to another question because of the need to activate feelings of empathy:

Let's ask the person who cheated on his wife, who is inclined to cheat, who thinks about cheating, who plans to cheat, who wants to cheat, or who sees cheating as justified and perhaps normal;

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR WIFE CHEATED YOU!?

Briefly; One of the reasons for cheating is a lack of empathy.

Dear friends, there is no type or form of deception. Cheating is cheating. It is very wrong to try to show this degrading behavior as justified or innocent.

Sexual, physical touching (holding hands, hugging, kissing), emotional (love bond), video / non-visible conversation or correspondence, etc. on the phone or through social media. such a difference should never be observed. In the end, all of them are direct deception and within the possibilities of the parties, it can often go up to sexuality.

The aim of marriage of every mentally and mentally healthy person is to establish a happy family home and to lead a peaceful life by mixing with children. No healthy woman or man will marry for reasons such as "Let me get married as soon as possible, let's make life difficult for each other with my wife, let's argue and fight all the time, never end the problem between us, let's cheat on each other, etc." But in the operation of the life cycle, such events and conditions arise that people can make mistakes that they say "I will never do" and that they react most to. Cheating is one of them. And as with all wrongs, the will of the person plays a big role in this too. A person should not perform an action or behavior that he or she knows is wrong. This is an indication that people respect and value people first. If the person is making that mistake, there are very important problem/s that need to be urgently resolved or expert help should be sought.

In order to justify the act of cheating, the cheaters' statements such as "I didn't do it on purpose, I don't know how, it developed suddenly, I was drunk, I don't remember, I lost my heart for a moment, I was empty, etc." or by directly blaming the spouse for psychological violence and pressure. He can put forward some reasons that he sees as justified, such as "You forced me because you didn't care enough for me, you didn't give me peace, you acted coldly and stayed away from me, so I had to and cheated, etc." He cannot make it look like an innocent act. In some deceptions, the deceiver uses expressions such as "We just drank tea together, chatted, walked, held hands, nothing else happened, and this happened once, I don't do it anymore, etc." The deceived person cannot easily understand whether the other person is telling the truth or a lie, because of the feeling of doubt and feeling bad. In such a case, help can be obtained from our ''Lye Analysis Expert''.

Some of the reasons put forward by men and women who cheat on their spouses are as follows; disrespect, lack of love (being left alone emotionally), not being valued, sexual coldness or inadequacy, not fulfilling physical needs (clothing, shelter, food, etc.), physical and psychological violence, all kinds of pressure, not meeting the need for admiration, swearing, humiliation, criticism, indifference, economic pressure, being ignored, unhappiness, being treated like a housekeeper, monotony in the relationship, cheating with the feeling of revenge to make the spouse suffer if he cheated, lack of understanding of personal space and time, etc.

The woman expects emotional transfer, happiness, love and attention from the man. Also, every woman has a little girl inside. That girl wants to coax and be pampered. Woman Whether the woman works or not, she expects her husband to help her with housework and other things that need to be done. In fact, the woman here aims to attract the attention of her husband.

The man also expects praise (appreciation), love and feminine approach from the woman. Roles should never change. The same spoiled boy is in the man. The vast majority of men expect and want the attention and care they received from their mother in their childhood from their spouses. This request is not unfair. But a woman should never pretend to be a mother out of interest in a man. If the woman is the mother of his wife, the man also wants to go to the woman who treats him like a wife. Attention; Here, women can never be blamed or blamed. A man cheats because he wants to. It is necessary to pay attention to the goodwill of the woman in her approach to her husband.

There should be no equal gender attitudes between men and women. Well; Neither woman nor man should act contrary to their nature. Because such behaviors can lead to deception.

Early marriage and early childbearing are also reasons for cheating.

Some men's families, especially their mothers, say the following before they get married: Don't give that woman a chance, don't spoil her, let her know her place, she'll be afraid of you, you'll be tough, you'll be yelling, you're the breadwinner, whatever you say will be done otherwise you won't be able to cope, don't be soft on your face, salt the food once in a while or use the tea as an excuse and smack your mouth, ask for an account of where you spent every penny you spend, don't let him see his family often, don't slurp in front of you, hit him if he does, don't touch the housework, they are the duties of the woman, she should take care of the child, and keep the child. indulgence. Remember, you are the man, he is the woman. Let him know his place.

Some women's families also make the following guidance; If your husband has two spoons, break one of them, don't make eyes open, men don't appreciate it, make a little coquetry, do what you want, pretend to be sick from time to time, take over the housework, get used to doing housework like this, don't let him meet with his friends too often, take it in the palm of your hand. so that he listens to your words, cry and feel sorry for yourself once in a while when you don't fulfill your wishes, sometimes you have a sexual absence with tricks like I have a headache, but don't exaggerate so that it doesn't go to other women. Use your femininity in everything.

It should not be forgotten how TV series upsets some people's moral values ​​when it comes to cheating. If one party has cheated and is caught, the other party may try to deceive in order to take revenge internally. But we know that both are wrong. Where do you think such a marriage would go?

If the marriage was made with an undesirable person (we can say that this practice has almost disappeared today), the unwilling person can choose to cheat on his spouse.

What is certain is: Those who have cheated and want to continue cheating, which is not done if not wanted, should behave maturely and leave their spouse, financially overcome the troublesome process that their spouse had to go through because of this (the moral side is not so easily removed, because this dishonorable behavior will never be forgotten) and live as they want. The deceived party should not have difficulties in breaking up, because as long as the union continues, this issue will not be forgotten and perhaps he will experience very serious psychological problems. Separation, like getting married, is a natural process of life.

If the man or woman has cheated on their spouse, if the cheating party has regretted and apologized, has promised not to do it again, and if the cheated party has chosen the path of forgiveness, they should talk about it and try to solve the problem. If they can't solve it, they can get support from us.

Remember; There is a solution to everything but death.

With respect, love, confidence, stay healthy and happy, stay nice and friendly, my dear clients, friends, followers.

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